"There's a lot of talk in this country about the federal deficit. But I think we should talk more about our empathy deficit - the ability to put ourselves in someone else's shoes; to see the world through those who are different from us - the child who's hungry, the laid-off steelworker, the immigrant woman cleaning your dorm room. As you go on in life, cultivating this quality of empathy will become harder, not easier. There's no community service requirement in the real world; no one forcing you to care. You'll be free to live in neighborhoods with people who are exactly like yourself, and send your kids to the same schools, and narrow your concerns to what's going in your own little circle. Not only that - we live in a culture that discourages empathy. A culture that too often tells us our principle goal in life is to be rich, thin, young, famous, safe, and entertained. A culture where those in power too often encourage these selfish impulses.They will tell you that the Americans who sleep in the streets and beg for food got there because they're all lazy or weak of spirit. That the inner-city children who are trapped in dilapidated schools can't learn and won't learn and so we should just give up on them entirely. That the innocent people being slaughtered and expelled from their homes half a world away are somebody else's problem to take care of. I hope you don't listen to this. I hope you choose to broaden, and not contract, your ambit of concern." ~ Barak Obama
Indeed. So, this month we have done a lot of activities that hopefully will cultivate empathy. We started with the quote above and talked about what it meant we then played a game that I call In his/ her shoes
that I made by taking pictures of footwear from various strata of society around the world. The kids had to think about what it would be like to wear those shoes, what would it feel like, how would they feel inside, how might the owners of these shoes feel and why do they wear the shoes that they do. This would have worked much better using all actual shoes but I didn't have access to many of the styles or conditions. I used images of anything from mainstream style runners, to funky high heels, to snow shoes, to no shoes, to images of Chinese foot binding, to old coke bottles tied with string.
that I made by taking pictures of footwear from various strata of society around the world. The kids had to think about what it would be like to wear those shoes, what would it feel like, how would they feel inside, how might the owners of these shoes feel and why do they wear the shoes that they do. This would have worked much better using all actual shoes but I didn't have access to many of the styles or conditions. I used images of anything from mainstream style runners, to funky high heels, to snow shoes, to no shoes, to images of Chinese foot binding, to old coke bottles tied with string.
We played a fortune cookie game that I concocted after watching this slide show http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/04/where-children-sleep/ about where children sleep. After watching the same slideshow the kids got to choose a fortune cookie from a bowl and crack it open. They then read out who they were and where they got to live. We talked about fairness and was it right that one person got to sleep in a gorgeous four poster bed surrounded by tiaras and princess paraphernalia while another child slept with his entire family on a single mattress in a field. We talked about the luck of the draw (as they cracked a fortune cookie and about how some kids are born to wealthy parents and some to poor parents and about the different elements of wealth and poverty. We also talked about what we would want to have happen if we were in certain situations and have worked and saved some money to help a family living in poverty. (Oxfam Australia offers animals that can be bought on behalf of families in the third world and can be used by them to make money.)
The kids tested their knowledge of geography, Spanish and random English vocabulary words on the "Free Rice" website and helped earn free rice for those less fortunate. Go to http://www.freerice.com/ to play. It's fun, educational and it makes a difference.
We watched a news segment on the crisis in East Africa and talked about what was happening over there. 
I decided (though the girls agreed) that we would have an empathy dinner. So one night we had boiled rice for dinner. No trimmings. Just rice. 
Bayan cried. He really wanted some yogurt to go on top. But I stuck to my guns. I'm mean like that. Anisa explained to him, repeatedly, that 'other people, other children, didn't have any food to eat. They are starving. Dying. We are lucky. We have so much food and tomorrow you can wake up and have whatever you want to eat and those kids will still be starving.' We had a great discussion about what it would be like not to have money or food or to be able to meet your basic needs, we enjoyed our simple dinner knowing that we would get to eat more interesting things tomorrow and knowing that we were making an effort to experience things (in the smallest possible form) from another persons perspective and that we were putting the money that we would have spent on dinner towards helping a family who is currently living in poverty.
I decided (though the girls agreed) that we would have an empathy dinner. So one night we had boiled rice for dinner. No trimmings. Just rice. Bayan cried. He really wanted some yogurt to go on top. But I stuck to my guns. I'm mean like that. Anisa explained to him, repeatedly, that 'other people, other children, didn't have any food to eat. They are starving. Dying. We are lucky. We have so much food and tomorrow you can wake up and have whatever you want to eat and those kids will still be starving.' We had a great discussion about what it would be like not to have money or food or to be able to meet your basic needs, we enjoyed our simple dinner knowing that we would get to eat more interesting things tomorrow and knowing that we were making an effort to experience things (in the smallest possible form) from another persons perspective and that we were putting the money that we would have spent on dinner towards helping a family who is currently living in poverty.
Most of our activities were centered around people. But not this one. For one week I left this quote on the wall “Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless. Christmas dinner's dark and blue. When you stop and try to see it From the turkey's point of view. Sunday dinner isn't sunny. Easter feasts are just bad luck. When you see it from the viewpoint of a chicken or a duck. Oh how I once loved tuna salad, Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too Till I stopped and looked at dinner From the dinner's point of view.” ~ Shel Silverstein. We talked about what that passage meant and we practiced empathy for animals by focusing on vegetarian foods for the week. This was not always easy, as Mehran is on a high protein diet, but here are some of our star dishes for the week: Falafel salad and Mexican bean wraps... yummmm.
I made a large grid in the carport (some 70 odd squares) and challenged the children to navigate their way from one end to the other. There was a catch however. Beneath some of the squares fictitious landmines were buried and the children must avoid these, but just like in real life there is no way to be certain exactly where they are. They were instructed to do their best and see what happens. So they traversed the grid, back and forth sometimes managing to avoid the hidden dangers and sometimes not. They had to imagine that they were living in Cambodia (a country notorious for the number of landmines) and that they had to get from one place to another while everyday living with the very real threat of landmines. How would they feel? How would they act? What would they do? 
One day the girls each wore a makeshift burqa. Bayan had no interest in trying it out. We talked about being able to see through it and play through it. It certainly presented some challenges when it came to hula hooping and badminton 
but we talked about its advantages as well. Anonymity, being comfortable that you could see out but that others could not see in, perhaps it gives people a sense of safety and security. We talked about fairness and why only the girls had to wear them. Anisa was most offended. She thought it was highly unjust that she should have to wear one while Bayan did not.
but we talked about its advantages as well. Anonymity, being comfortable that you could see out but that others could not see in, perhaps it gives people a sense of safety and security. We talked about fairness and why only the girls had to wear them. Anisa was most offended. She thought it was highly unjust that she should have to wear one while Bayan did not.
Imagine having poor eyesight. That is Mehran at the moment. He is going to undergo surgery soon. So we did a lesson in empathy for those whose eyes work differently than ours. I stuck layers of tape on the kids' swimming goggles until they had very blurry vision when looking through them and sent them off to play (carefully - I might add) in the back yard. They found that it presented a few challenges but they were still able to do what they wanted they just had to be extra careful about how and where they moved.
And yes, we even included Pluto. We all realize that it is currently outcast from the planetary bodies and is now merely classed as a trans-Neptunian object. Poor Pluto. But you can't let that get you down, especially when Bayan does this (see below) every time they get a question right.
Bayan loved watching their pile get bigger and bigger and I loved the fact that he remembered things like the name of the man who discovered Saturn - Galileo Galilei. There are few things more charming than hearing a five year old say that name with lispy pride.
