Enjoy

"Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why we call it the present."

While at summer school a lovely young lady bestowed upon me a random sticker. Throughout the day I saw a number of people walking around with similar stickers. I wore mine on my hand and it was an excellent reminder because I haven't been doing enough of it lately. Sure I try to look at the positive, but lately I have been letting some negatives get the better of me and it was great to have this one little word to focus on and draw my attention back to something that I have lost sight of, to something that I need to do more of. Enjoy. Enjoy the moment. The right now. Because that is really all that we have. Enjoy the sibling squabbles and the never ending laundry, enjoy scrubbing the regurgitated food off the floor and nagging the kids to do their math because I get to do it. I get to be here for it and there are people out there who might give just about anything to be able to be there and get to do the very things that I was (and sometimes still am) feeling burdened by. So instead of a New Year's Resolution, something that I have never really put much effort into, I am going to make this word my focus for the year. I am going to focus on the positive and just enjoy each moment for what it is. A simple gift that I am given. It may not be entirely pleasant but it may make me stronger or give me a chance to practice my own virtues. Life is a journey we may as well enjoy the ride.

One

Maryam is one. One. Where did that go? Much like her first year her first birthday came and went so quickly, so quietly. No big parties. No fan fare. Simple. Sweet. Like her. Love that girl. The neighbours came for cake and she opened gifts from her siblings (with help of course). We had a sleep-out on the new trampoline which the kids adored, though I must admit I did not completely enjoy it, especially as I was the heaviest (lowest) point and by morning everyone was either squished into or on top of me, plus it was cold for January. Cold. But at least there were no mosquitoes.
Anisa is the black lump that Bayan is trying to coax out of the covers. It was probably too early for the the camera but I had to capture the moment.

Virtue of the Month: Gratitude

This month was pretty simple. We read some stories about gratitude and thankfulness and then made a big felt tree on the wall in the making area and cut out lots of colorful maple leaves. Each morning we wrote down something that we were grateful for and stuck our leaf on the tree. It was an easy, nice way to keep the virtue in mind, to build on it and have something beautiful to look at as well. (Mostly beautiful... it would have looked better if Maryam hadn't developed such a fetish with attempting to remove the trunk every time she was in the area.) Now if I could just find a picture...

Halloween

In pictures:

We decorated the dining room and invited some friends over for a bit of Halloween fun. The girls stayed up late the night before to help me make witches fingers for everyone. It turns out this was a wise move on my part. Apparently I stink at making witches fingers. Anisa, on the other hand, is a natural.

She and Ruhi made a batch that even creeped Soheila out.Ruhi drew some ghost-like faces on orange balloons for the guests to take home. I think she did an awesome job.Meanwhile Anisa got busy helping me make some "red back" (I didn't have quite enough gumballs so we did multi-colored instead) spiders for a web we weaved in the back yard.She made a web outside, using enough strings for each guest to have one to follow and tied a spider onto each end.Which, miraculously, survived until party time despite Bangals best efforts to untangle them.We made "swamp juice". The kids loved this. We used all natural lemon-lime sparkling soda, some gummy worms and fish and some tapioca pearls to give it that frothy, swampy, look. It was awesome. I'm thinking the only possible improvement might be a bit of dry ice...next year.We made salad surpriseand goblins grinsThe girls made some ghost pops for their friends to take home.Due to the number of young'uns around most had to leave a little early. Which was sad because they missed the glow in the dark drinks we made with tonic water and pomegranate syrup.The kids quickly sipped their fizzy, Halloween, concoctions while basking in the glow of the creepy jack-o-lantern in the corner and admiring all the surfaces that were transformed as a a result of the black light, before heading off to bed themselves.We then met up with some of the same kids for a bit of Trick-or treating...en masse. Ruhi was a hula dancer, Anisa a princess, Bayan a police officer (who handed out tickets to random individuals) and Maryam...Well, Maryam went as Pooh Bear disguised as a Bumblebee and wound up sleeping through the entire thing. So sweet.Despite a number of houses where trick-or-treaters were discouraged, the kids made quite a haul this year.Especially Anisa, whose candy weighed in at just over a kilo.

Virtue of the Month: Organization

Lord knows I need help with this one.



We are trying to declutter as much as possible this month. Sort through closets and give a lot of things away. Clothes, toys, books (gasp... I know) but there just ins't space and it is so difficult to clean with all the things we have packed into our home. I really want to simplify. I need to be organized. And while we have cleaned out some closets, the pantry, reorganized the kitchen cabinets and part of the shed I don't feel like we have made much progress. I think we'll have to do this virtue again.

Right now

I know I say it a lot but I really can't believe how much and how fast these kids of mine are growing. Can it really be 10 years ago that Ruhi was Maryam's age? Where did that go? I haven't captured the moments enough and that is something that I am making a conscious effort to do as much as possible becuase 10 years from now I want to be able to look back and remember, really remember, what life was like. What we were doing. What we were thinking and how the days were unfolding for us. There are signs that my memory is not what it used to be and I (you may have noticed) want to remember the good, the bad and everything in between.

So right now Ruhi is working hard academically and is making some great progress. I wouldn't actually say that she likes math, but she is finally beginning to get it. She is super helpful and wonderfully kind. She strives to make everyone else happy and I hope that she will make choices that bring her happiness as well. Choices are hard for her, even small ones like should I open my special can of Sprite now or later can present a dilemma that must be analyzed from every angle before a decision can be made. I know someone else who does that too. She always remembers to say prayers before bed and reminds everyone else as well. She loves rice noodles with hoisin sauce, reading in bed, swimming with friends, late night movie dates and riding her bike to the park.

Anisa must repeatedly be reminded, cajoled, prompted and urged to get her work done. Academics are not currently a strong point, but we're working on that. I just need to keep thinking of different ways to make her learning fun. She does not like housework for that matter either, but Bayan sure takes the cake and has more strategies up his sleeve for avoiding work than I care to count. Anisa is, however, an excellent baby sitter, she loves to cook and bake and has a gift for languages. She still remembers her manners only now she only says Thank you in German. She is so much fun. She is completely obsessed with horses and ponies and loves creating with paper.

Bayan has physically grown so much in the last year that he is completely off the charts in terms of height. He is definately a real little boy now and I adore him. His sweet brown eyes still make me melt, especially when they get that squinty sparkle when something special or something chocolate is mentioned. Love that. He is fascinated by robots. Loves machienes and likes to see how things work. He wants to be a robot inventor and a police officer (because they're allowed to have guns... but thats another blog post) when he grows up. He has promised to make me an army of robots that specialize in housework (so I'll be happy and he won't have to do anything). I am really looking forward to his laundry folding robot... 7 loads today. He is no longer satisfied with the name Maryam for his baby sister and has dubbed her Scurvy Boggs, after one of his race cars, instead. He calls her Scurvy for short. Man, I love these kids.

Maryam is trying to walk. She loves to stand, but still won't crawl. She loves the cat. We'll all say prayers for Bangles when she does begin to move. Trust me, he is gonna need them. She is so animated and playful. She loves to wave and play with the kids and is sadly disappointed when she can't join them outside for games...soon enough my love, soon enough. She is beginning to eat, though for health reasons she is only being introduced to fruit and vegetables at this stage and even then only one food at a time. So far she loves strawberries and mandarins. Pear, apple broccoli and carrot are meh and avacados are a no go. She has just learned to wave and she shakes her head at her siblings and copies their moves in a simple game that cracks everyone up and keeps them laughing. I love how good natured she is. Last night she threw up. In my bed. A lot. Twice. For no apparent reason. I picked her up to change, cuddle and clean her and even though she was covered in spew and must not have been feeling all that fabulous the first thing she did was flash that toothy smile. She has 6 teeth and each one is super cute. I love these guys so much and hope I can capture a little more of the here and now because it is just the best place to be. And I love who I get to share it with.

Virtue of the Month: Kindness

This month we have focused on kindness. Speaking in a kindly way and behaving kindly toward others. I was thinking to make paper bricks and put their kind deeds on bricks to make a "wall of kindness" but Anisa had a better idea, so we went with hers and created a castle of kindness instead. They wrote their names on the flags above each tower (and yes - Maryam had help) and we recorded their kindly deeds on the blocks of the castle wall. They were really sweet and did some heart melting things to wind up there on the wall, but the best things were the spontaneous things like Bayan offering Anisa his hand to help her into the car. It looked exactly like something you would have seen in the 1800's with a young man helping a lady into a carriage. So cute. Anisa was pleased as punch. It is certainly a lot more pleasant to be assisted into a vehicle than to have to climb over someone who has rushed into their seat first without considering the difficulty this presents to others. He now waits to make sure that both girls have gotten into the back before he climbs in himself. Love that.

We have read the book "The Value of Kindness The Story of Elizabeth Fry" about the kind and courageous young lady who helped bring the plight of prisoners to public attention and reform the way that prisons worked. We have been working on our own random acts of kindness like making cookies for the neighbours who live across the street, (this woman has left her job and is now caring for her sick mother full - time) and acknowledging the kindness that we see in others.

Moments

Life is made up of them. Strung along they make up the fabric of my day. Maryam may scream and cry when she is desperately tired, but as soon as she is being fed she begins to relax and the moment changes to one where I get to hold her in my arms, snuggle her close and watch as her little eyes begin to close and those gorgeous lashes rest against her face. There are many moments, like when we arrive back home and the kids race off to play in the fig tree together. I love (mostly) how they interact and play together. I love hearing them laugh among the branches and the paper airplanes with secret messages that fly into the kitchen while I am preparing dinner. I love Anisa's creativity and how she will sit for ages at the table so engrossed in what she is making. I love how Bayan's eyes light up when he talks about the robots that he will one day invent. I love curling up in bed with Ruhi and a good book when all the younger kids are sleeping. I love that on Saturday nights we are starting the tradition of watching (part of) a movie together (again, when the younger ones are sleeping) I love that she is getting to an age where we can both enjoy the same film and I love her patience and compassion for the siblings who are not yet included in this.

There are other types of moments too. You know the ones when you are stuck in rush hour traffic with a car full of tired, hungry, grumpy kids who seem to be doing whatever they can to irritate each other be it breathing too loudly, talking to me or, heaven forbid, looking out of someone else's window. These moments happen more than I would care to admit but they make you grateful for the calmer moments that follow (like those in the fig tree) and they can always be worse like when they include a screaming baby or like the time when, stuck in rush hour traffic with the same grumpy children, one of them starts vomiting violently in the back seat and, in addition to the rush hour traffic, there is an accident up ahead so all the vehicles around you are either gridlocked or are moving at a snail's pace and there is no way that you can maneuver to an outer lane to let the vomit happen on the side of the road. Instead you listen to the waves of it hitting the upholstery behind you while desperately searching for something to contain the mess at the same time as trying to offer soothing words to comfort the child whose stomach contents now coat half the car. Moments. They help you appreciate the more mundane aspects of life.

So, last night I got to appreciate how smoothly things have been running around here because, wowzers, it sure hit the fan for a moment. Or two. Mehran invited some of his friends over for dinner and asked me to make Khoresh - e- Sabzi (Persian lamb and herb stew). Right. No problem. Everything is fried up as it should be and placed in the pressure cooker with ample water. The kids are outside playing and I am wearing Maryam. The guests arrive as random vegetables are being passed over the fence by the neighbours kids which my kids are delivering to me. Mehran announces that he is going to take his guests to visit his mom and dad. They will be back in half an hour. Sure. No problem. I start the rice, turn down the stove and head next door with the kids to find out what is up with the veggies. The children were a bit vague on the details. Twenty minutes later we return, or shall I say attempt to return home, as Ruhi went to open the door and having failed to do so, handed me this:

a broken key, by which both doors are locked. It is at this stage that I detect a pungent burning smell. I head around to the laundry room door secretly praying that our Indian neighbours, with the gorgeous cooking aromas that have tortured me during more than one pregnancy, have finally burned something. Here I realize two things. 1). That the freezer is bloking the door and there is no way to enter through the crack that isn't even big enough for Maryam to get through and 2). The Indian neighbours perfect reccord of sumptious, exotic, non burned food is still in tact. The horrific stench permeating the neighbourhood is, in fact, coming from my kitchen... naturally. I canvas the house searching for an open window or another way in. The window in the girls room is open but despite my best efforts the roller shutters and interior screen do not allow me, or anyone- for that matter -to gain entry. I am starting to feel a little desperate because, although there is officially no fire, some nasty smoke is starting to billow out of the kitchen. I borrow the neighbour's phone to call Mehran while waiting fir the piercing wail of the smoke detectors to go off. Within 10 minutes Mehran arrives home with guests in toe. The situation has not improved but at least we are able to get in. Dinner is ruined. The kids are hungry. Mehran is not happy. The guests are politely standing in the driveway because at least they are able to breath from that location. At times like this my policy is pizza. I made a salad. Which I did NOT burn (thank you very much) and Mehran went to pick up dinner. I would love to say that that was the end of the drama for the evening, but alas...twas not. The next "moment" came when Mehran opened a bottle of sparkling grape juice for the guests...lets just say there were multiple showers involved and his friends may think twice about accepting another dinner invitation to our house. I am still finding sticky patches in unusual locations. But I have to say... I love the moments. They are what make life interesting.

10 Bears in the bed & the big one said: "I'm crowded..."

Oh, wait! There were only four. It just felt like 10. This is where I slept last night. Sandwiched in between Bayan who uses me as his personal heater, Maryam who believes that I am running an all-night buffet and Anisa who decided to join us by stretching out along the foot of the bed after Ruhi took over hers. The girls decided to have a sleepover in Anisa's bed and they were so happy and cozy and cute that I didn't voice my sensible objections...school night...Ruhi is, ahem, an active sleeper. That girls got mooves. Needless to say the sleeping part of the sleepover didn't exactly last, at least not for Anisa who joined the scene in the wee hours of the morning. I went from being squished between two bodies (but at least I was able to stretch out length wise) to having to scrunch my legs up and sleep in a diagonally, horizontal, crouching position (which was actually less comfortable than it sounds)...but it gets better because at exactly 3:45 Bangles jumped onto the bed and methodically walked over my head. His subtle hint that I need to let him outside. Now! I will confess that I am not super chipper first thing in the morning, and I won't be winning any mother of the year awards after snapping at Anisa in frustration as I tried to disentangle myself from a web of legs and blankets while trying not to wake Maryam up.

As Bangles took his sweet time debating at the door as to weather or not he would venture out into the night I began to feel really bad for telling Anisa to move out of the way in the frustrated tone that I did. When I came back to the room she was sitting on the floor beside the bed, no doubt feeling very bad. I, in my exhausted stupor, apologized and had the sense to help her back into the foot of the bed, arranging the pillow and blankets so that she would be warm and comfortable before making my way back to my cramped and sandwiched position between Bayan and Maryam. No doubt some will think I am crazy. Why not just send her back to her own bed you ask, or tell her to climb up into Ruhi's bed. Well, the thing is she is still my baby, no matter how big she gets or how many children have come after her she will always be my baby and sometimes she needs to feel that and sometimes I need to remember that. I am her mother and as such it is my role and my privilege to see to it that she is comforted and included even at 3:45, or perhaps especially at 3:45.

I've decided it comes down to perspective. I could be really grouchy and cross about not getting a good night sleep between the kids and the feeds and the cat or I could be really grateful that I got to spend the night having my own sleep-over of sorts with my three youngest babes. It won't be long before they won't want to be squashed up beside me, it won't be long before I won't be feeding them through the night and it won't be long before they won't even consider snuggling into bed with me, so I choose to be happy and grateful that I get to snuggle them while I do, that I get to see their dreamy little faces as I, myself, drift off to sleep and that I get to hear the sweet, soft, sound of their slumber even if someone wets the bed and even if it means that I am physically uncomfortable and wind up crawling out if bed like Quasimodo. In my heart I am happy.