Forgive me father, for I have sinned...

I know how unhealthy McDonald's is. I used to work there for heavens sakes. I even know that McDonald's and other companies like them are responsible for vast amounts of disappearing rainforests so that land can be cleared to raise cheap beef. (Though perhaps not Australian franchises who claim to use local beef sources.) I know that some suppliers of meat keep the animals in inhumane conditions, that some live very sad lives only to die very cruel deaths. To say nothing of the vast amounts of waste generated every day and the dubious nutritional quality of some of the items on their menu. Knowing all this has kept me from eating at McDonald's for a very, very, long time. Generally the thought of it is anything but appetizing but then I got this craving. I really want a Big Mac. Or two. Perhaps three. Badly. I'm horrified, but I can't seem to help it. I have tried making burgers and tacos and other meaty dishes to give myself a protein fix. But the nausea and craving remain...I must have a Big Mac. So this morning after returning from the markets and feeling more queasy than ever I decide to do what any other heavily pregnant person would do...I set off to get the darn Big Mac. It is 10:27. A little early for most people to be requesting such things, but not for crazed mothers to be who have been fighting the inevitable for days. I am told that they do not start taking orders for burgers until 10:30. I'm aware. I ask if I could please pre-order and wait the three minutes and am told and I quote: " No. We can't do that."

So... let me just get this straight. We can put a man on the moon, we can probe the darkest recesses of outer space, we can teach chimpanzees to communicate and can unlock the mysteries of the atom, but we, apparently, do not have the ability to pre-order a Big Mac three minutes early. According to staff at this franchise there is absolutely no way that that is possible. Am I the only one that sees a problem with this?

Had I more time, or had I been wearing more appropriate attire, I would have parked the car and gone inside and gotten a serious Big Mac fix but sadly I had to flee the drive thru very much Big Mac-less because Mehran needed me home ASAP. I shall try again later. If I should fail once more I may have to learn to hunt. Cows - you have been warned.