Chaos

This will be short. The house is in chaos. There have been so many, so very many, interruptions that I hardly know where to begin. I have forsaken the lists and have begun to randomly stuff things into the suitcases in the hopes that I will inadvertently pack what we need, manage clean the house and still be ready to leave first thing in the morning. I know it will not all get done, so now it is a matter of prioritizing everything and not feeling guilty about the things that will remain undone. Hmmm, I feel a final list coming on. Wish me luck and for those of you in the States we'll see you soon.

One more time...peeeese.

Bayan has been asking for well over a week to go to the beach. He has been persistent. He has been patient. He has been polite. Today I gave in. The marking is complete, the grades have been handed in, the classroom is under control, there is still lots to do, but the kids really deserve some time to do something that they want. And I needed a break too. While the girls did rock climbing and investigated tide pools Bayan tossed handfuls of tiny pebbles into the ocean with wild abandon. For over an hour. When asked if this was why he had wanted to come to the beach he responded with an immediate and emphatic "Yesh!" As if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Intrigued, I tried it too. He is quite right. There is something so soothing and wonderful about tossing pebbles into the sky and listening to that extremely satisfying sound as they each plink into the water in harmonious succession. Thanks for the tip Bayan. You're awesome!

I didn't bring the camera with us, as well - frankly I just couldn't be bothered- and sometimes it is just nice to experience the moments without trying to capture the moments. But I will include this shot of the little tide pool Anisa created in a dish on our craft table. Enjoy!

Schedules and lists

It is crunch time. Once again I swore to myself that this time I would be more organized and better prepared and that in light of our impending travel arrangements I would have heaps of things done well ahead of schedule. Whoops. I am currently in the midst of marking approximately 300 Spanish workbooks (remind me not to give the year 6/7's so many Spanish translations next year. It truly slows down the marking, especially when you are trying to work out weather an item is a 'chefs special' or weather they intend to eat the chef. Seriously.) I have one week to assign grades for the same number of students, to organize and attend a performance management meeting, to clean out and organize the classroom, get notes and items organized for the relief teachers, laminate 85 place mats, prepare 11 pinatas to meet their fate, teach lessons and do countless other odd jobs to be ready to leave the school and classes until next year. I have stopped relying on my brain and have resorted to a series of highly detailed lists. There is one for school, one for the house, one for packing, one for shopping and one for travel, which includes such mundane things as hotel reservations, elusive visa permits, maps, directions, addresses as well as research into what we are allowed to bring and how much we are allowed to bring, or more to the point -bring back.
Wish me luck because the children are sorely neglected. They are actually watching movies back to back. Ugh! See what I have been reduced to? I hate that. I want nothing more than to be able to spend some quality time with them playing with play-doh or out in the garden instead of putting on a movie so that I can potentially get an hour of work done, but due to the interruptions it only amounts to 15 or 20 minutes anyhow. Sigh. Soon it will be finished for a little while and I am hoping to find a well endowed Spanish bookstore teeming with awesome resources that I can bring back here, thus making planning slightly easier for next year. We shall see.

Maintaining Normalcy

Or something like it. In the past week I have placed my trust and faith in God, I have learned to breathe while holding my breath, I have been forced to slow down and am have been struck by the great sense of contentment and peacefulness from noticing wonderful, little, everyday, things like the children nestled together on the couch while watching a movie.

In the midst of everything it is sometimes hard to understand that life goes on as usual, that it has not changed, although you have, that you still have responsibilities at work, that the children still need to go to school, that the house still needs to be cleaned, the bills paid and dinner made. I guess it is a blessing because it gives you something to focus on, even if for only a short while, and makes you feel 'normal' even though, perhaps, you are only pretending.

To illustrate that things are indeed 'normal' take a peek at what I found in Anisa's pocket after they had been through the wash: a purple, pearl, necklace; a couple of butterfly hair clips; a make-up brush; a flower from her fairy costume; my good lip-stick (well, it was my good lipstick); a plastic lion; a toy soldier; a sparkle studded head band; a barrette and a key ring. Merely the essentials. I know you understand.

The unknown

It stands before us. It casts it's shadow and, while we acknowledge it, we are trying to stand in the sunshine. Sometimes that is easier said than done. The cardiologists cannot explain why one of Anisa's coronary arteries is enlarged. For every possible scenario there are factors that do not fit. At least on that they are all agreed. They simply do not know. Because they do not know what is causing it they do not know how to fix it and so while we have learned that this appears to be something new the only thing we can do is wait and see, wait and see what happens, wait and see what the next scan shows. In six months time we will see if there is any change (hopefully smaller or unchanged... Please God, let it be smaller) and in the meantime we will wait. We will hope. We will pray. We will go to America. We will try to stand in the sunshine and not in the shadows. We will be grateful for all the moments we share together. We will take pleasure in the simple things of life and above all we will remember that God has a purpose and a plan and that He knows what we do not.

"As ye have faith...

so shall your powers and blessings be." ~ 'Abdu'l-Baha

Remember that. Remember to have faith when the cardiologists tell you that they have 'found something' in the latest scans of Anisa's heart. Remember to have faith when they tell you that they have no explanation as to why the left artery leading to her heart muscle is enlarged. Remember to have faith in the week you will wait to find out if this is something from before that they had overlooked or weather this is something new. Remember to have faith in the moments when the invisible fist of fear grabs hold of your heart and darkness threatens to engulf you. Remember that we are all in God's hands and that he knows why one artery is enlarged, even if the doctors do not. Remember not to let the children see your tears. Remember to be strong. Remember to have hope. Trust that all will be well. Know that your prayers are heard and that they will be answered. Have faith. Have faith. Have faith.

Sabotage

In the lead up to our trip overseas I am trying to have all things in order so that we can have a nice, relaxing, holiday with friends and family once we arrive. As this is the first time that most will be meeting our children I want them to look their best (to say nothing of being on their best behaviour) and have organized haircuts and what have you. Anisa has taken things a step further deciding that she wanted a fringe (bangs) like Ruhi has. So while I was in the kitchen, Anisa located a pair of scissors and took herself off to the bedroom. The pile of hair pretty much speaks for itself, as do the haphazard tufts of hair jutting out from her head. We had a long talk about not cutting anything but paper with scissors, especially when Mummy is not right there. We also had a delightful conversation about how we could possibly fix it as they have school tomorrow and I have no desire to send her off looking as though she may have just fled a mental asylum.

I thought that during the course of our lengthy chat I had, on some level, gotten through to her... alas, upon vacuuming this afternoon (yes, I know, I am actually using the vacuum again) I found another pile by the front door tucked away under the yellow pages. Grrr. Surprisingly it doesn't look much different from the results of her first effort. Nevertheless I have spent countless moments on you tube attempting to learn to french braid as I think this may be the only way to properly hold and discreetly obscure those pesky tufts. The French braid needs some work, I know... but aside from that you can't really tell... or can you?

The Countdown Begins...

"It's November Mum!" Was nearly the first thing Ruhi said this morning. Followed closely by: "How many more days till America?" The kids are getting so excited. The girls like to talk about all the things we plan to do while we're there: Disneyland, sleigh rides, snow forts, ice skating at the local pond, you know- the usual winter wonderland activities. (Let's just hope there's snow, shall we?) Bayan likes to focus on the going on an airplane side of things. He tells us every day that he wants to go on an airplane. He describes how he will go up high in the sky and how he will go on many planes, he says it all with such passionate enthusiasm and such a charming little smile that your heart just melts and you want nothing more than to grant his wish right then and there. As for me, well I'm looking forward to seeing faces that I haven't seen in many years. I am looking forward to showing my children some of the magic that I remember from my childhood and creating memories with them that will last a lifetime. And Mehran, well he just really, really, hopes that the Australian dollar gains some ground before we leave. Amen.