Maryam

Once upon a time this name conjured delightful images of a happy child in pig tales laughing in the sun. I always assumed the meaning of the name would be somewhere along the lines of happy or joyous. As we were reviewing names I read the meaning of the name Mary, bitter and rebellious, and I went right off it. I mean who wants to name their child after such appalling attributes? Not I ... yet there was something about the name. Mehran mentioned that in Persian it is simply the name of a beautiful, perfumed, rose. It can also mean beloved and, while not his most favorite name he didn't mind it. After she was born I actually had to stop myself from calling her Maryam, because we were still undecided- yet it seemed to fit. Somehow it was her name, I just wasn't sure if I liked it. Then I read that Maryam, a cousin of Baha'u'llah, was one of His most devoted and faithful followers, that she helped His wife nurse Him back to health before He was banished to Iraq. How He addressed tablets to her which "were unique in their tone and sentiment", that she was especially devoted to Baha'u'llah and that He favored her throughout her life. That was it. Her name is Maryam. Her middle name is Emma which means universal. She is our universal rose and now the name conjures images of a wee little girl, with a beautiful spirit, a ready smile and a happy nature. One who will continue to define her name, regardless of what all the books say, in her own unique way.

Life

I originally entitled this post Getting into the Swing of Things, but somehow that feels highly inaccurate. As soon as I think I detect some sort of rhythm it all hits the fan. I feel as though I have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. There have been some really good days but there are also many days when I have never felt more alone or unloved and I don't want to say anything to Mehran because that could put him over the edge. He is so exhausted right now. He pretty much passes out as soon as he has showered. I am tired too, but not as much as he is. I wish there were more that I could do to help him with the renovations because I know he feels like he has to do it all himself. The curtains that we wash and the food that we prepare or bring are only token efforts because with all the dust and filth and dangerous materials around the place there is not very much that I can physically do to help. So while Mehran feels like he alone is shouldering the weight of the world, our thoughts are with him even while we do crosswords, while we cook and while we learn new, independent, skills. (They made the muffins all by themselves from choosing and printing a recipe to pulling them out of the oven. I merely supervised from afar while feeding the little one.)My thoughts are with him while I try to keep focused on the positive because I know that I am very lucky. I know that I have three wonderful kids and a dream baby and I know in those dark moments of self doubt that God is here helping me, even when I don't feel like anyone else is.

Ummm. Gulp!

So we purchased (I say we because I signed the papers too, though at the time I was approximately the size of a woolly mammoth and couldn't fit behind the wheel so I didn't see what it was that we were purchasing until today) an investment property which, to quote Mehran: "Needs a bit of work." But it was a good deal (we think) and it has potential being close to the university, slightly over 1,000 square metres and with views out to the sea. Mehran was super excited and was itching to get started. We got the keys on Friday and today Mehran asked me to come and pick up the curtains and wash them so the kids and I brought lunch for him and the man he has hired to help him with the renovations.

Before we left Mehran called to ask me to bring a flashlight and to offer these encouraging words of advice: "When you see it, don't panic and don't freak out." Hmmmmm. Suddenly I was slightly suspicious about the aforementioned 'bit of work' that the house would need. Though I can't imagine why.

After seeing the property (and it's no wonder there were very few visual images of the house on realestate.com) I am just amazed that the advertisement didn't read: "Bring your bulldozers." Permit me to give you a tour:

Here we have the front porch and entry way. This does not bode well.In case you missed the gaping hole above the front door.And the entryway from the inside. Umm. Not a vast improvement, but at least the gyprock is in tact... sort of.Here we have ceiling of the main living room. Note the patches of sky in the upper left corner. That is because, apparently, part of the roof is missing. The bathroom... I am speechless.The wall above the sink... I'll spare you the toilet.My hands must have been shaking by this point because none of the photos of the bedrooms turned out (but I think you get the idea) so the final image is of the kitchen which they were in the process of gutting when the children and I arrived.

Bayan, and rightly so, has started calling it "the broken, cracked up house." So much for what I was led to believe: fill in some cracks, slap on some paint, replace the carpet and upgrade the kitchen and bathroom. I am sure that it will all work out. One way or another. Mehran is normally pretty good with stuff like this. Though I hear that one of the main walls will have to be replaced as it has dropped down into the ground and could potentially collapse at any time. On that note the children and I are off to wash 5 industrial sized machine loads of grotty, ancient, curtains. Wish us luck.

One week on...

• the infected tear ducts have cleared;



• I'm on antibiotics for mastitis and can cry at the drop of a hat;




• we're still working on the middle name;




• the house is in chaos with dishes and laundry that forever need to be done and furniture for the rental property that is crammed in every nook and cranny;




• we're eating...late, but we're eating;
  




• she is growing beautifully and changing every day;
  




• the kids are keeping busy with movies, crafts and friends;
  




• Mehran is working on the rental house approximately 18 hours a day and I am so very grateful for Sue who has dropped by with dinner. More than once. God bless you.

She sleeps

Better than I ever imagined... despite profound noise and frequent interruptions...with teddies and toys and miscellaneous household appliances that Bayan likes to tuck in beside her. His current favorite (not pictured) would have to be the can openers. I fish them out of her bedding more than all the other items combined. She dreams...

and I wonder where her dreams will take her, what path her feet will tread, and what wonderful things she will accomplish throughout her life.

Welcome Home Little Love

The little one and I have left hospital and have come home, welcomed by three very excited siblings. They have all had lots of cuddles and holds. I have to struggle to get a snuggle in myself. And she's so very snuggly.

Anisa is our official lullaby singer. She has been following the little one around the house composing lullabies for every occasion be it bed time or a nappy change. Ruhi is a wonderful helper and can always be counted on to help supervise or hold our newest addition. Bayan is in awe and has relinquished his role of baby of the household remarkably well. They marvel at her every expression and laugh at the little noises she makes. They are, after all, profoundly endearing.

And she, well, she is phenomenal. A sweet, patient, happy, little love. We're just working on the name. I think she already has one. She always has. I'm just coming to terms with it.

A new life begins

Surrounded by love, full of promise, full of hope, full of simple perfection.
She came into the world at 3:31 in the afternoon weighing just over 3 kilos and we are so very grateful to have her in our lives."I have come by God's command, have been made manifest for His remembrance and have been created for the service of Him who is the Almighty, the well-Beloved."

We love you little one.

Nine things I'm loving right now

1). Freshly baked chocolate chip cookies.

2). Her fashion sense and the way that she insists on wearing a hat and eating apples while soaking her feet in the foot spa.

3). His sweetness and the way that he says things like "You're the best cooker in the world Mum. Thanks for making me my favorite khoresht." while wrapping his little arms around my neck and giving me kisses. Have I mentioned how much I love this little guy? 4). Her helpfulness and the way she is always willing to lend a hand or assist her siblings. I don't know what I would do without her.

5). This belly and the fact the fact that I will soon be able to see my feet again.

6). A clean (ish) house.

7). The new craft corner and lots of crafting.

8). Hanging out at home with my favorite people in the world.

9). The peacefulness of knowing that I've done what I can and am now just waiting to meet a little soul who will change our lives forever.

Fun with Amu Farshad

Mehran's brother came to visit for a day before heading back interstate where he has been working for the last year or so. The kids had a great time with Amu (uncle) while he was here. He taught them games like snake in the grass and played charades with them. That was fun to watch. Ruhi chose easy things to guess, Anisa chose as remote and obscure things as possible and Bayan was always either a jet or a robot. He even did a water drinking race with them. (Sorry about the photo, Blogger won't let me rotate the image. It's being very stubborn so you'll have to crane your necks and admire from the side.)The idea was that hands should be behind your back and you slurp with your mouth to see who can finish fastest. They all started off at once but Bayan soon discovered it was far more convenient, not to mention speedier, to hold the dish and chug the water back. He still thinks he won, but the girls have other views on that.

The one thing they all agree on is that they are really going to miss Amu Farshad and they hope he will be able to visit again soon.

The name game

We are staying close to home at the moment. The children have been wonderful, helpful, playful and busy making, doing and creating. I've been doing extra sewing, making brushed cotton face washers for the baby and napkins for the table, surprises for Ayyam-i-Ha, pyjamas for the girls and of course those aprons. Ruhi decided that she was going to make a fairy-style bag out of some of my left over scraps and Anisa decided that she wanted to make one too. Ruhi completely took over teaching Anisa what to do and giving advice and tips on pockets, straps and embellishments. It was so cute. While we all sat around the table working on our own creations the girls started talking about names for the baby. They were thinking it might be nice to have a person called Bangles (you know - after the cat) but I nixed that one pretty quick. They both agreed that, in the off chance the baby is a boy, he should be called Ryan. I actually don't mind that one, at least it's much better than Bangles. Meanwhile Bayan believes that the baby should be called Bayan. Because, and I quote: "We have enough girls. We need another boy. We need another Bayan." Honestly, if I could clone him I would. He is such a darling. For girls they came up with names like Georgia, Rosie and Sparkles. I think a name like Georgia Rose is actually quite pretty, though I really don't think that we'd go there. I'd like to keep the tradition of choosing one Persian name and one English name, it should be nice, easy to say, have a decent meaning and some sort of Baha'i significance. The only problem is that Mehran and I have not yet found a name that we both really like. We spent over an hour on the internet last night searching through lists of names and are no closer to settling on one than we were a week ago. And as for Sparkles, well -that could come in handy if I were having a horse.

Shhhh. Don't tell.

A good friend of mine has recently returned from an around the world style trip bearing gifts for the children, among them was a lovely bracelet for Ruhi apparently hand crafted in Abu Dhabi. See below: Needless to say Ruhi was quite taken with it and Anisa handled her disappointment wonderfully when she was presented with a pencil case instead of a bracelet, never letting on how much she really wanted such a bracelet until our friends had left. So, quite secretly I have been working away on some extra bracelets for the girls. I have tried to copy the style of the one that we were given and am trying to make three or four before Ayyam-i-ha to be given as parts of their gifts or to be used as part of our advent calendar. Here is the first one that I made. Not perfect, not horrible for a first attempt, though not as easy as I had thought either. I had visions of a beautiful, young woman, serenely beading away in the corner of an ancient bazaar while I (attempting to re-create something similar) blasted hundreds of tiny beads off the end of the memory wire, and developed an eye twitch while I attempting to braid the beaded wires together. But then perhaps it is not so easy for them either.

For anyone who is game or who likes eye twitches as much as I do. Here is the basic how to:

you will need memory wire (bracelet size), various seed beads (at least two colors) and a beading tool set or something that can cut the wire and curl the ends so that the beads will not come off.

Step one: cut 15 circles of memory wire.

Step two: On each circle of memory wire curl one end back on itself forming a small loop. You can kind of see it below.

Step three: You will need to choose your colors. To make it easier to see I have gone with a silver for the outer edges and three shades of pink for the inner. As there are 15 wires and you are making a pattern of a contrasting edge followed by three inner layers, followed by a contrasting edge you will need to make three groups of 5 wires. So that means, in this case, 6 silver rings and three of each of the pinks. See below. (If this seems terribly confusing keep reading it should all make sense.)

Step four: Thread the beads onto the wires until the rings are full. Leave just enough space to curl the opposite end back around to stop the beads from falling offStep five: When all the bracelet loops are completed cut a half circle of memory wire and curl one end. Using the same color you used for the outer layer (in this case silver) thread one bead onto the curved piece of memory wire pushing it down to sit against the curved edge. Then start adding the bracelet loops remembering to put one (silver) bead in between each new bracelet loop that you add.The pattern becomes bead, silver loop, bead, colored loop, bead, colored loop, bead, colored loop, bead silver loop. Step six: you do this three times. Then trim the piece of memory wire and curl the end to secure the loops and beads in place. You should now have something like the image below.Step seven: Do yourself a major favor and secure each group of loops with a rubber band. Trust me you'll thank me later.

Step eight: Braid, plait or weave the three groups together.

Step nine: When you can braid no more cut another piece of memory wire and repeat the bead, loop, bead, loop process of step six until you have incorporated all of the loops. This step can be tricky. Just remember to remove the rubber band before you attach the loops to the wire and maybe have some chocolate or tranquilizers standing by just in case you encounter any issues like confusing the bracelet layers or memory wire that doesn't like to be braided or loops that are not quite as even as you thought they were. All of that is normal and easily overcome. Just keep going. It will work out in the end...one way or another.

Step ten: Trim the wire and curl the edge around to secure the beads and loops. Ta-da! A fancy bracelet courtesy of a beading genius in an Arabian bazaar.

Hmmm. I hope their design is not copy-righted. On the up side I don't know if there actually anyone who can make sense of my mangled instructions. But best of luck to those that try.

The due date

has come and gone and I am asked on an almost hourly basis: "Mummy, when are you are going to have the baby?" or "Mummy, can you have the baby now?" Well, theoretically yes, but it is not entirely up to me. So while we wait, with baited breath, to meet this newest life our days are filled with: back to school shopping for shoes, picking fruit, playdates with friends, preparing for unexpected interstate visitors and the minor amassing of groceries. My bag for the hospital is packed and ready to go (finally) and, after months of waiting, our craft corner is organized! Organized I tell you. This could have happened back in early November, but someone forgot to pass on a couple of messages and so that someone came with us to IKEA to help load the storage shelves into the car. That someone, out of guilt - I do believe - happily paid (perhaps happily is too strong a word - paid without complaint) for the above mentioned storage unit and even put it together that very evening. That same someone also experienced much stress and aggravation from some apparently vague instructions and lots of little helpers. Bayan used someone's golden calligraphy pen to help open the boxes and in the process scratched a shelf and irreversibly damaged the pen. Someone was not happy. Shortly afterwards, in an effort to be of more help, Bayan took our wooden meat tenderizer and used it as a hammer to more securely wedge the boards in place. Again, well intended, but the outcome -mmm less than helpful, especially when the pieces were hammered into the wrong spaces. Meanwhile Anisa kept confiscating the wooden dowels (used as connector bits) for craft purposes. Despite all the setbacks and irritations the shelves got made. And while someone went off to lick his wounds and mutter curses under his breath I got busy with the fun part: moving supplies from one place to another. The craft area is organized and my dining room is a dining room again. It feels so good. I love looking at it (the craft area)and grabbing what I need, because now everything is so easy to see and there is so much less bending over and shuffling through drawers, a serious bonus right now.

Happy Anniversary

to us. 16 years and counting. Or is 15? Either way, it's been awhile. I was awakened by a very chipper Anisa earlier this morning who had been busily crafting last minute anniversary presents with Ruhi. I was presented with a glittery candle holder and candle, a woven leaf crown and a paper cone filled with fresh blossoms and wrapped with a flowery vine. So sweet. Baba seemed to miss out on the gifts, but he really, really doesn't mind.When Mehran returned from his hike we took the children out to lunch to celebrate the day and came home and spent the afternoon playing games together. Hi-Ho Cherry-O (many, many, many rounds) and Uno Stack-O. Bayan has still not quite grasped some of the concepts involved in removing one level in order to build another or maybe it was just that he was trying to get the tower to fall... who's to know? Anyway it was a wonderful way to spend the day. Here's hoping we have many more.